Excerpts from How to Succeed In Business By Really Trying

Assessing the Situation

If you have dealt with challenges in the past, you recognize that facing them often brings out the best in you, qualities such as courage, perseverance, faith or strength you may never even have known you possess. This episode at work can be one of those learning opportunities for you, an opportunity to make yourself a better person, not only personally but professionally. So before you decide to leave, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you have really exhausted all your options. Remember, facing the greatest challenges yields the greatest rewards.

You have been placed on the defensive during this time of turmoil. It’s time to take a few days off and reassess your situation. Yes, you feel like you’re being chased out. Nobody likes to feel like this and it is a very poor position from which to operate. So the first thing to do is to try to see yourself as having some control. You are a worthwhile, autonomous individual. You have skills and value. You can choose to stay in the job or to go. You can choose to try toughing it out or to do what you can to modify the situation. Nobody can make you do something you don’t want to. You are in control of your life and your choices.

Develop a support system

You may have already noticed that when you bring your work troubles home to your husband or wife, there is a real danger of burning them out. They can only hear so much so often before their sympathy for you begins to turn into frustration, and then anger and resentment. Where spouses are concerned, limits need to be set. You can, for example, agree to spend fifteen minutes each day debriefing and venting before letting go of the problem and enjoying your family life and other activities. Your spouse can share his/her work issues as well, so that the process is mutual.

Should fifteen minutes not be sufficient time for you, you’ll need to develop sources of support outside of your primary relationship. These can include trusted longtime friends or friends you enroll specifically for this purpose. You can play a support role for each other – listening, making encouraging noises, functioning as sounding boards, each helping the other manage a difficult situation. Feeling adequately supported in your struggle at work is very important. You may think you can get along without it, but you can’t.

Be a Positive Force in the Workplace

Being a positive force in the workplace requires avoiding some behaviors while consciously engaging in others.

The temptation to grouse, complain, moan and join the general chorus of dissatisfaction at the workplace is enormous. While a source of immense gratification, it is rarely productive. You need to rise above it. Avoid bad-mouthing, gossiping and joining in on personal attacks of any kind. In fact, it’s best to avoid the people who engage in such activities. Your workplace environment is negative enough already without you adding to it. If someone confronts you about your attitude, you can just say, I don’t see how complaining is going to make things any better. Besides, you’d be surprised at how much of this kind of talk gets back to the wrong people.