We are living in a time of great social, political, and economic upheaval. A deadly pandemic, the likes of which we have not seen in 100 years, is sweeping the world. Political strife, the likes of which we have not seen since the Civil War, threatens our very form of government. These events seem to operate beyond our control. Badly shaken is our longstanding faith and confidence in the civic and religious institutions we rely upon to provide stability. Simple discourse is frequently problematic. The effect of these and other factors is to make us to feel alone, frustrated, bewildered, frightened and angry.
I am not writing this to get you more depressed, but to set the stage for our resurgence. None of the things impacting us so severely today are going to last forever. It is going to take a while yet, but eventually things will settle down. In your personal life, marriage, or physical health you may have had the experience of undergoing a major crisis only to emerge from it a better, stronger person. The same thing can happen now if we begin to prepare ourselves for it and initiate it in small ways. Adopting a positive and open attitude is the first step. We must a create space in our minds and hearts that something good can come of all that we have endured together.
By far the worst aspect of what we are undergoing is that we feel battered by events beyond our control, cut-off and distant from half the people around us. We cannot even engage in public discourse without fear of a violent reaction. If we can challenge and reduce this current situation, the feelings of frustration, fear and rage will begin to transform.
Key here is to identify simple things we each can do to help dispel this sense of perverse disengagement and recall to ourselves and others that we are not helpless and hopeless. We need to restore, in small but tangible ways, a sense of civility, trust, mutual respect and concern. How do we begin to approach this? One way is through cooking.
If you have the necessary time and funds, consider preparing meals that typically provide more food than you need, like pasta dishes, a big pot of soup, beef stew, chili, or a fruit pie, and sharing some with your neighbors. So doing is a quaint but potent tradition dating back centuries. Perhaps someone in your community lives alone and may not cook much just for one. Imagine what a treat it would be for them, not only to receive good food, but to have someone go out of their way to do something thoughtful and generous for them. What a delight! It touches the heart as well as the stomach.
Another thing you may consider, if you have the means, is tipping people who serve you but do not normally receive tips. Minimum wage people, like the guy who works at the convenience store or the cashier at the supermarket. These are people who can work a full shift and still not bring home $100/day. They are also more than likely to be working a second job just to make ends meet. It is not just the money; the gesture carries impact well beyond the monetary because it makes them feel seen and appreciated. They matter! They are important! Somebody from out of the faceless crowd notices and values them. It may be the nicest thing that happens to them during their entire shift.
When waiting in line at the supermarket, you can take note of the person behind you; is it mother with a young child or an elderly person? You can offer to let them go ahead of you. Obviously a quite simple gesture, but the type of gesture we see less and less of these days, while we need them more and more. This is an opportunity to help snap others out of the perpetual dull gray funk and spread a little sunshine, even if only for a few moments. By becoming the light ourselves, we brighten the lives of others and show them the way. We can shock people into recalling that there are people out there still willing to engage in random acts of kindness and may even encourage them to do likewise.
Another token of goodwill and courtesy is to properly wear masks and engage in social distancing. I know this is a political hot potato. But regardless of your beliefs, you can display courtesy and concern for the health and well-being of others (and their families) just by following a simple protocol. Back in the day, before masks, we covered our mouths when we sneezed, same thing here.
The common element of the things I have suggested is that they are simple and direct messages of caring and concern. They are unlikely to unleash a torrent of political invective and do not require much interpretation. Progress will be slow, and things are not going to settle down for a while yet, which is why we can begin in small ways now. Showing someone a simple and direct kindness speaks volumes and is just the tonic we need as we begin to move back towards the light. They say it is better to give than to receive, but, in this case, there are winners all around. Try it and I am sure you will see what I mean.